Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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