Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
