i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
