He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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