Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize