So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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