I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
