dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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