that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
