So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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