thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
