Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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