I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
