..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize