WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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