McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
