i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
