How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
