More tranny stories later!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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