Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
