Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
