I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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