that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
