There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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