Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
