I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
