bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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