I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
