It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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