Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
