Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
