when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
