i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
