Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
