I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
