Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
