Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
