Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
