Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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