Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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