he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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