whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
