his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
