@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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