i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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