Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
