I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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