dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This is my gift to your gina
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize