Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
