I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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