My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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