I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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