If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
BRING THE BAGELS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
