belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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