dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
