I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
