Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My cat gives me a boner
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
