It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize