Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
