Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
