kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize