Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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