you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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