Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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