i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
