Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
