If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
