John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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