so let's talk penis.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize