Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When are your genitals available?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
