If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
