Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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