think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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