I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im holly from the hills drunk
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize