Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
