I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
